I am an enormously self-critical person. If I'm going out to a party, or having dinner, or even just giving a presentation, I'm constantly playing back my speech and my actions in my head to see where I went wrong. It sounds like two awful television sports announcers who follow me around only to trash whatever I think or do or say.
My husband has left for work and the kids are still sleeping. I sit down with a cup of coffee in front of my computer in my quiet, still kitchen to try and steal a moment to myself. Then I see it.
We talk to ourselves in a way we would never talk to people we care about. We take these words to heart and believe them as truth. We turn these words into our core belief system, holding ourselves back from growth, fulfillment, and happiness.
Like learning how to play the guitar, write music, make videos, record podcasts. The one thing I have consistently done ever since I was a kid was write. And he was always encouraging, no matter how bad you felt your work was. What is a literary person, anyway?
I sucked at habits. I learned to understand that habits are a set of patterns that I just needed to repeat until they became more and more automatic … and that setting up the right environment is everything. You just need to learn to set up a better habit environment.
Now years of formal suckitude can be hard to repeal, but if you follow these guidelines, then you will have a solid foundation from which to build a new character. So where to begin? Exogenous suckage must be dealt with before we can correct any endogenous suckage.
I have been an aspiring writer for some time now. Aspiring all over the place, but with little action to back it up. I finally mustered up the courage and wrote my first article on Medium back in March.
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